Gustavo Rojo Dot Com

You know you’re in Porterville when the primary spoken
language is Spanglish.

You know you’re in Porterville when you see asian people
at “zalud park” every summer.

You know you’re in Porterville when traveling just 30
miles out of the city is considered a road trip.

You know you’re in Porterville when High School
classroom parties double as baby showers.

You know you’re in Porterville when graduating from High
School seems like an impossible goal.

You know you’re in Porterville when the thing to do
after graduating High School is starting a family if
you haven’t already done so.

You know you’re in Porterville when every guy has a
brand new luxury car and still lives at home with his
parents.

You know you’re in Porterville when you’ve been in
community college for four years and are still
undecided.

You know you’re from Porterville when the girl remix
“Lean like a Chola” personally offends YOU or reminds
you of girls you know.

You know you’re in Porterville when white girls are
having quinceaneras.

You know you’re from Porterville when all the best
restaurant’s names start with “El” and “Los”.

You you’re from Porterville when you’ve been out of
highschool for 5 years and you still go to all the
football games wearing your letterman’s jackets.

You know you’re in Porterville when you know at least 10
people or yourself who work at the Walmart
Distribution Center, or as Portervillian’s know it
“The DC”.

You know you’re in Porterville when you are in a car
club or can name 10 people who have their cars in one
with the stickers slapped on the back window.

You know you’re in Porterville when the Denny’s on
Henderson is the spot to be after all the bars are
closed, and go to the one “Off the 190” to avoid the
drunks.

You know you’re in Porterville when you know to stay
away from Wal-Mart (“The Porterville Mall”) on Sunday
afternoons.

You know you’re in Porterville when the car wash on
Olive turns into a car show on Friday and Saturday
nights.

You know you’re from Porterville when you know to stay
away from everything east of Plano St. if you don’t
want to get shot.

You know you’re from Porterville when the fresh smell of
the morning dew is the not so fresh smell of urine
coming from the sewer plant in the middle of the city.

You know you’re in Porterville when every one in town
knows yours and your mamas business.

You know you’re in Porterville when every guy is trying
to become a Correctional Officer and every girl is
trying to become a nurse.

You know you’re in Porterville when your dates usually
end in an orange grove or some abandoned back road.

You know you’re in Porterville when a child predator
strikes ten times and the cops still can’t catch him.

You know you’re in Porterville when the best parties are
out in the boonies or some abandoned field.

You know you’re in Porterville when something happens on
one day and the entire town is talking about it the
next.

You know you’re in Porterville when everybody is
connected to everybody though some weird connection.

You know you’re in Porterville when the white kids drive
out to Pismo Beach to ride their quads on the sand
dunes and the Mexicans drive up to the mountains to
swim in the river.

You know you’re in Porterville when there are 10
quinceaneras going on in one Saturday and only one
sweet sixteen every six months.

You know you’re in Porterville when there is only one
place to go dancing if you choose not to go to the one
of the ten quinceaneras.

You know you’re in Porterville when you see the same
people at every party every weekend.

You know you’re from Porterville when everybody thinks
everybody is a hater.

You know you’re from Porterville when you know and
recognize EVERYBODY’S car.

You know you’re in Porterville when ONE person can have
the whole town talking.

You know you’re from Porterville when leaving home to go
to a University offends people…… “cuz now you think
you’re all good”.

You know you’re from Porterville when even though you
know all things listed are true, you love the town for
it and wouldn’t want it any other way.

via/Rachel